Yes, I Consider Myself Canadian

Cartoonist Charles M. Schultz once said, “I love mankind; It's people I can't stand.” If I can reword and personalize it a bit, I'd say, “I don't mind hockey; It's the obnoxious fans I can't stand.” Seriously. What is it about hockey that makes people act totally obnoxious and inconsiderate?

Example one—A few years ago I was hanging out with my sister and we decided that we'd go to Boston Pizza for dinner. Unbeknownst to us, there happened to be a hockey game on that evening, which they had playing on their TVs. That, in itself, wasn't the problem. The problem was the table full of obnoxious hockey fans who were constantly yelling and cheering at every little thing going on in the game. This was just one table, not even a whole room full of fans, and they were just so noisy and inconsiderate that it ruined our enjoyment of an otherwise great dinner. It's like those people didn't even consider that there might be others in that room who wanted to have a quiet, relaxing dinner. They can do whatever they want in their own home, but when in a public place, people need to show some sort of consideration for the people around them.

Example two—the Vancouver Canucks win a big, anticipated game, and for some reason people think the appropriate response is to drive around constantly honking their horn, and/or screaming at the top of their lungs. Maybe it's because of my personality, but I cannot think of a single thing that would get me so excited that I would have to go outdoors and yell. And yet, something as insignificant in the greater scheme of things as a sporting event causes others to do so. I remember some years, where I was just trying to have a quiet evening enjoying a movie, and I had to pause it for over half an hour because I simply couldn't hear it over the racket outside.

Example three—A year or two ago, when Abbotsford was getting its own hockey team, there were a few people trying to drum up support for and raise awareness of the new local team. It was three girls standing out on a street corner near my apartment, waving signs and screaming at the cars driving by. Unlike the aforementioned post-game celebrations, these girls were stationary, not driving or walking by. So for an hour I had to put up with constant screaming. It totally ruined an otherwise great Saturday afternoon. Lets just say they're lucky I a) had plenty of self control, and b) did not own a sniper rifle.

Example four—The 2010 Olympic Gold Metal Hockey Game. One beautiful, sunny Sunday afternoon, I decided to go for a walk at a local park. I did not know there was a hockey game on, let alone that it was the final Gold Medal game and that Canada was playing in it. It was such a beautiful day and I was really enjoying my walk. Then about half way around the lake I started hearing some noises that I determined to be air horns. By the time I finished my walk and got back to my car there was very obvious cheering from outside the park. And then came my drive home. The closer I got to the Abbotsford's main street, the louder the cheering got. And then I saw the massive crowds. There literally had to be thousands of people lining the road cheering at the top of their lungs. Not to mention the constant honking. Some people weren't simply honking but holding their hand down constantly on the horn. The noise was so overwhelming, whenever I was at a red light and did not need my hands on the steering wheel I would plug my ears. It takes an awful lot to get me really upset, and all these obnoxious fans (seriously, they had nothing better to do than congregate along South Fraser Way and scream at traffic?) brought me dangerously close to my breaking point. I was able to resist the urges, but I really wanted to roll down the window and yell at them to shut up, even with a few profanities mixed in. I was that upset. But I knew that wouldn't change anything, and most likely would have resulted in an angry mob surrounding my car, and what came next probably would have been even less enjoyable.

And probably the most annoying thing is the thought that lots of people seem to have, that there's something wrong with you if you don't enjoy hockey to the same degree they do. Like I said at the start, I don't hate hockey. It's just not something that interests me enough for me to actively follow it. But some people honestly can't seem to comprehend that it's even possible that someone else might not be interested in it. It always annoys me when in the course of a conversation I mention that I don't watch hockey and they respond, “How can you call yourself a Canadian?” Working in retail, my sister would hear that line frequently from customers, and it really bugged her.

But fortunately, this is something I only have to deal with for a month or two of the year, and only on every second or third day. The really obnoxious behaviour doesn't manifest itself unless the Canucks make it into the Stanley Cup playoffs, and how bad it gets is proportional to how far into the playoffs they get. So, apologies to the players and fans, but I always secretly hope they don't do too well. But in case they do go far this year, I should be prepared and buy myself some ear plugs and find a game schedule, so I know on which days it's safe to eat out and what days not to bother watching a movie.